Thursday, February 21, 2013

“If I were to die today, would you have any regrets of things you didn’t say or do while I was alive?”

A few months ago I asked my husband “If I were to die today, would you have any regrets of things you didn’t say or do while I was alive?”  Needless to say this totally freaked him out; he thought I was going to say I was dying or something.  But I didn’t ask him that to scare him, I asked because one thing I’ve learnt about having love ones in my life pass away, is that I don’t want to die with any regrets (if that’s possible) or at the very least die with not really appreciating my life and the people in it.

It is so easy to wake up each morning and go through the routine of life, day in and day out while unconsciously letting those precious moments, or moments that could be precious slip away.  Then one day we wake up and it’s like “where did the time go, when did the kids grow up and moved out, how long have I been wanting to take that trip, how long have I meant to pick up the phone and call my friend back, how long has it been since I told them I love them, how long?”  The thought of that is frightening to me, I do not want to look back on my life and see those would be precious moments as a passing phase of my busyness of life. 

As a wife and working mom of three my life can be hectic sometimes, to say it mildly, and I really have to make myself sit down and take a break.  Being raised by a strong, hardworking single mom I learnt to “take care of business” and because of this I take on my task full force, it may not be perfect, but momma gonna get it done the best she know how.  So with this mindset, I sometimes feel guilty taking a break from my tasks.  Sometimes, as much as I love my kids, I have to force myself to just sit and watch a movie with them, play with them outside, or read a loooong story together.  Why? – because all I can think of is my tasks: dinner has to be made, clothes need to be washed and folded, house needs to clean, homework needs review, and the list can go on.  I don’t feel like I have the right to relax and kickback until all is done.  But I have learnt now, that a few dirty dishes and clothes are not worth me losing the opportunity of creating precious memories with my husband and kids.  And besides, their butts can pitch in on all the tasks too – LOL.

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